kayfabe

commacommachameleon:

sarahb:

“I’m 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says.”

Sample: “Don’t touch the bacon, it’s not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i’ll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing.”

“Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I’ll answer.”

“I didn’t live to be 73 years old so I could eat kale. Don’t fix me your breakfast and pretend you’re fixing mine.”

“Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me.”

“Tennessee is nice. The first time I vomited was in tennessee, I think.”

1. rachaelrevolution liked this
2. i-like-you liked this
3. lifeonfiction liked this
4. meltdowntown reblogged this from razzdrazz
5. beeeyes liked this
6. absurdlakefront liked this
7. hikenow liked this
8. influent liked this
9. lostinfiction liked this
10. stalk liked this
11. razzdrazz reblogged this from kayfabe and added:

    “Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there....

12. kmhalley liked this
13. budsey reblogged this from sarahb and added:

    “The dog is not bored,...a fucking dog. It’s...like he’s...

14. anoldconversation liked this
15. kitschy reblogged this from toocutebyhalf and added:

    sarahb: “I’m 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says.”

16. parasols liked this
17. fakenicebitch liked this
18. toocutebyhalf reblogged this from sarahb
19. sarahmay liked this
20. styro liked this
21. youdonthavethis liked this
22. kayfabe liked this
23. sarahb posted this