September 8 - Bloggers discover Sarah Palin wrote and failed to sell a mystery novel in 2002 about a former beauty pageant runner-up who becomes VP, only to murder the elderly President and take full control of the country. It’s titled, Something I Definitely Promise to Do When I Get a Chance.

October 2 - During a debate with Joe Biden, Sarah Palin stabs Joe Biden.

November 2 - The Palin children escape, begging for safe passage to sanity. Their adventures are immortalized in a series of young adult novels.